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An Anxiety Attack …

My Horoscope for Today*:
Your own pad is comfy and cushy, and you might be tempted to call in well. Unfortunately, you are all too aware of the many things you have to get accomplished today. Some of them relate to your own long-term plans, so don’t waste a minute on stuff that doesn’t count. You’ve got solid backing today, particularly from someone who knows you well and knows your history. A romantic involvement could get very hot this evening. Enjoy it to the max.

I just had to take Sunday off from the computer so that’s why I didn’t do any entry yesterday … but here I am today.

I thought I was having a nervous breakdown or an anxiety attack today. I’m not sure what the symptoms are for either, but I was totally dizzy, felt light-headed, and was shaking.

Most of these symptoms came after I found out I had to postpone the trial date, because the process server was unable to serve my former landlord. She was never around when he went to serve the court papers, or just wasn’t answering the door. Basically, you have to allow 14 days before the trial date for her to have the papers. Now its too late, so I have to reschedule the date, meaning this won’t be resolved before my vacation, which leaves sick feeling in my stomach.

My instinct is to go over to the bitches house and start screaming and yelling about where my f*cking money is. At this point I’m still trying to follow the letter of the law … but I’m wearing down. I think the shaking earlier today had to do with how angry I was … and trying to hold it in at work … I can usually feel my hand start to shake when I get that angry. Plus, its extremely rare for me to get angry at anything … I think I might need legal advice at this point.

Aaaccckkk! This is going to go on forever … I can see it already.

Tonight was my first night class. Political Science: American Politics. Sounds like an interesting class. It’s after work from 7PM to 10PM … that is after my work day from 9AM to 5PM … a long day to say the least.

The teacher wants us to study the US Constitution and then read a newspaper and submit a condensed written version of the story … sounds like current events from seventh grade. In fact, I think I studied all of this in seventh grade … but this class is necessary for a degree, so here I am. Hopefully it will be exciting enough to get me through the the semester.

Those desks seem alot smaller than they used to be too … I guess its just been too long since I’ve been in school … doesnt bring any good memories for me.

The only thing I’m looking forward to is my vacation at this point … I just want to get as far from my life here as I can possibly get. For one week, I get to be a tourist in New York … taking in the sites. I can’t wait!!

Random Quote: “Just because it’s called a blow job … doesnt mean you actually blow”.

A friend sent this to me:

Slow Dance

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won’t last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask “How are you?”
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done,
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You’d better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won’t last.

Ever told your child,
We’ll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
‘Cause you never had time
To call and say “Hi”?
You’d better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift …
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Tags: illness, lawsuit, college

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