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Birthdays and Clubs …

So, I’ve created a webring. I dont know why, I just felt like making one. I was never popular enough to have a club of my own when I was younger, and so now I have one, where I can admit whomever I want. It’s kind of nice.. not that I truly believe anyone will join it.. I mean, creating a club could bring back insecurities about whether people will join it, do people want to be in a club with me.. I’m at a point where I dont care too much.

Not that I dont want YOU to join, just that it won’t terribly bother me if noone joins me. So, what am I looking for.. well, you have to have some kind of writing on your site, whether a journal or just random writings. It can made up writing or true to life, as long as it’s interesting. I’m also looking for sites that are easy to navigate.. you dont have to be a design superstar, just as long as I can get around fairly easy. That’s it for my rules.. I dont care where you stick the ring info, and dont expect you to stick a big huge logo on your page. So, that all. I hope some of you will join, by clicking the animation below, or “webring” in the nav bar at the top. Now I can sit and watch no one join me … just like in school.

Speaking of clubs, I used to be friends with this family that had a tree house. They lived down the street, and are very well known in our community because of the car dealership they own.. their commercials run all the time, but back to the tree house. I’d go over to their house after cub scouts, and we’d go up and play. Sometimes with hot wheels or other toys, just fun times. I always wanted a tree house, but without any trees it’s a little hard to make one.

I’m playing with the digital camera from work. The HR lady said she doesnt know how to use it and gave it to me to figure out. What’s cool is that the thing can record movies as well as take photos. How awesome is that? Well, I shot a picture of my cat, Maxx.. to try out the camera. He’s humongous.. it’s hard to believe when we first got him he was smaller than my hand. See his head, he was smaller than that when we got him.. now he’s a big lug. His nickname: “Big Boy”.

Today is my mom’s birthday, and so my sister and I have decided to take her out to dinner. We made reservations at the Terrace at the Ritz-Carlton … it’s kind of a formal place and terribly expensive, but it should be a fun night … and split between the two of us, we shouldn’t go broke.

Well, I just got back from the restaurant, and I have to say that I just had the best meal of my entire life … and probably one of the more expensive. I started off with a salad that had a sesame oil dressing, avocado, grilled prawns and shrimp, diced papaya, served on spinach leaves … ohmygod, that was the best salad I’ve ever eaten. Next, came the main course, a really tender rack of lamb served with small potatoes and carrots, with a really tasty sauce in the bowl. Plenty of bread accompanied the meal, and the piano player played happy birthday for my mom, as they served her a hot apple and cinnamon dessert. I ordered a New York Cheesecake, one of my favorites. To wash the meal down, a glass of Chardonnay. Yummmmmmmy!!!

So, this was one of the best meals I think I’ve ever had.. and it only cost $250 for three people (only? yeah right..but worth it). I highly recommend it though, and if you ever come to town, let me know and I’ll buy you dinner at the Ritz. By the way, I think this is where the term ritzy come from.. because the hotel and restaurants are crawling with your ritzy types … of course, you do have to get really dressed up, but it’s worth it.

Getting to the restaurant turned out to be a bit more than we were expecting. See, it’s a fifteen minute ride into The City from mom’s house … so we left forty-five minutes early to factor in traffic. I even printed one of those mapquest maps, with point to point directions.. because I’m so lame I get lost pulling out of the driveway.

So, the directions said to take the 4th Street exit.. and as we approached there was a flashing sign saying there was a detour. Well, anyone who uses those directions knows that a detour is the worse things that could possibly happen … we took the 7th Street exit, and drove towards 4th, only to find a police barricade blocking of every street in a five block area … we drove around and around and around trying to get to the restaurant and even called to tell them we were going to miss the 6:15 reservations … we finally arrived at 7:00PM on the dot.. a horrible experience.. and I still dont know what was going on.

Expecially being with my mom and sister, the two most impatient people in the world.. I’m am so laid back, that I just listen to the radio, meanwhile they are making noises and complaining and screaming at other drivers, and telling me to honk my horn at people.. yikes.

Birthdays have always been something I didnt enjoy. I’m not one to take center stage too often.. I’m more a “behind the scenes” type of person.. I love getting involved in things and letting others take the glory, birthdays usually mean the attention is focused on me. I hate having people stare at me, look at me, or pay attention to me … I know there must be some deep-seated psychological meaning for this … but I just dont like attention, and it’s difficult for me to take compliments also.

If I can get away with it, I won’t tell people it’s my birthday.. and often try to take the day off of work, in case someone does find out, I won’t have to deal with it. I often pass on dinners and celebratory things with friends, because they like to make it into a big deal and have people sing. I hate people singing, it just draws more attention. I’ve made it very clear how I feel about them doing those types of things, and they are starting to understand that it has to be low-key if they want me to join them … I’ll walk out if anything happens, I just dont like it. I also dont like surprises.. I dont find them fun, I dont find them exciting, I find them annoying and foolish.

Birthdays, I just dont enjoy them. I’d rather they just pass without notice. I dont even like getting gifts … well, I like gifts, I dont like having to open them in front of people. I’m not very good at looking like I like something, if I really dont. I try really hard, but I’m at a point where I’m trying to get rid of stuff, and when people give me things that are totally useless, all I can think of is that now I have to store the thing somewhere … its often better not to get gifts.

Im sounding a little negative tonight arent I.. hmm, I’m just tired.. its a dreary, rainy day, and its making me tired.

The Book of Eleven – Brain Lint: I’ve seen it: grown men exhibiting uncharacteristic patience and focus, all for the promise of maybe, if he tilts his head … just … right, glimpsing a sliver of breast on one of those scrambled sex channels.

Childhood Experience of the Night: Recess was always a hard time in elementary school. I mean I usually had friends to do things with, jumprope, or playing on the monkey bars, or just walking around a talking about stupid stuff. That is, if you had friends. I was lucky to always have at least one or two people that I could hang around with, and sometimes people would invite me to play with them.. but I didnt always want to play.

I went through a period of not really wanting friends, not really wanting to do anything.. I would sit inside during recess and play on the computers and pretty much be anti-social. It went on like this for a couple of years … of course, not every day was like that … I mean I still had those friends that insisted on hanging around, and from time to time I’d get outside, but for the most part, I wanted to be alone.

Alot of times, during that time, I’d come straight home and sit in my room by myself.. it was a sad childhood, and I was such a loner. I mean, I made myself into a loner, because I had these friends that I just didnt want around me all the time.

Even today, I still like alone time.. although I really enjoy spending time with friends, I enjoy that quiet time where I can gather my thoughts, and not have to deal with other people. I’m not really anti-social, because I like being with friends … just not strangers, and I dont enjoy parties, because you really have to be good at socializing and chatting about stupid shit. Maybe I am anti-social to some degree … who knows.

During those early days though, recess was difficult, just like lunch when everyone goes into their little cliques. I belonged to a small clique too, but for some reason always felt like an outsider.. like they were just being nice to me and allowing me to sit there.. it’s one of those things I’m sure a therapist could get to the bottom of.

So, if you want to join my webring feel free, chances are I’ll let you in.. just click on the animation. You know, I had more fun creating that animation, than I had actually putting together the webring.. I really hope you’ll join, it would be nice to see more than just me in there.. and it’s super-cool. Just kidding … do what you want to do?

I’ll just sit and cry in a corner because no one want to join my little webring.. but dont worry about me, I’m sure the therapist won’t blame you for my misery.

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