Plays Well With Others

Where’s the Love?

I meant to mention this a while ago, but somehow it slipped my mind, which isnt all that uncommon.. something slipping my mind.. I think I have old-timers disease.. you knew when people forget things.. I swear I’m always forgetting things.. I just tell people that I’m so busy that my brain can’t contain everything so it starts weeding out less important things and storing them in the back for recall later on, when I’m not using my brain too much … hmm, what was I talking about..

So, with all my whining I got a place in the book of Zed.. my “in-law” or something. I’m so honoured to have a nice big fat place in the cast list, I could weep tears of joy.. but moreso, I could show you some photos of the wonderful Zed.. here. I thought it was a cute idea. Zed is also a member of my webring.

I’m getting so many entries in my guestbook the last few days, I can hardly contain myself. Tonight I checked and saw that Ducky and Linda had signed in and love every bit of it. I guess I should be mean to y’all more often, and then everyone will sign in and say “hi” to me. I appreciate all the nice things you all say..

I still have to pinch myself that people are interested in what I’m talking about sometimes.

So, Tim (you all know Tim, he’s got the really long journal title … ).. well, he mentioned me three times in his journal today.. and I was beside myself … you know, because the only reason I read Tim’s journal is to see if I’m mentioned … so three just throws me into a fit of hysterics.

Not really, but I was surprised to see my name mentioned, and not see one of Tim’s one liners following my name.. I mean, it sounded like he wasn’t being mean to me or anything and so I had to wipe my eyes a few times.. I’m so used to see, “poor Greg” or “poor insignificant Greg”.

Actually the real reason I read Tim’s journal is because I, now dont tell him this or he’ll get a swelled head.. but I like it. He keeps a good journal.. but you didnt hear that from me.. I’ll deny it.. I mean if it ever got out that I liked his journal, I’d never hear the end of it.

I dont know how clear I was yesterday about apartment hunting, but my future roommate, Kara, needs to find a place before the end of the month.. so if there is any moving to be done, it would take place by the end of the month.. which means that I’d be a hectic mess come the end of the month.

I hate moving.. at least most of my stuff is boxed up in storage, but still what isnt in storage needs to be boxed up.. but believe me, you’ll hear all about that when the time comes.. I’ll have plenty of moving stories … hmm, you never got to hear my moving stories from the last move.. so at least I wont be repeating myself.

Stay tuned for moving stories and roommate stories.. you can all find out about Kara along with me..

Work today was full of meetings … I spent practically the whole day in meetings. The first part of my day was a spontaneous meeting with my immediate group.. to discuss upcoming projects, how bonuses and raises will be divided up, and other group related stuff … about the time that meeting ended, another began.. to discuss the super secret store projects I’m working on. We had to discuss the proposal and marketing the projects.. lots of stuff coming down the pike.. an hour after that meeting ended, a marketing department meeting began to discuss matters relating to all of us … by about 4:30PM, we were out of that meeting.. leaving me about half an hour til I was off.. the day actually went by pretty fast.

My middle meeting was a lunch meeting, meaning I didnt get to leave the building all day. We ordered a pizza. The problem I have now, is that pizza’s cause me to be extremely thirsty. I dont know if they are making them with more sodium or if I just can’t handle them anymore, but I’m soooooooo thirsty now, and feel like I absorbed a can of Wesson oil. I mean, you could see the grease floating on the top of this pizza.. I usually only order vegetarian pizzas with pesto rather than red sauce … they dont make me as thirsty. I need a drink.. be right back.

My company began the daily massages today.. fifteen minute neck and shoulder massages. Now I’ve never had a real massage.. I’m a little squirmish about people touching my neck. I remember a lady I worked with gave me a massage once and OHMYGOD, it felt so good … I had to weigh whether sex or the massage felt better … believe me, when you have knot in your neck the size of a watermelon, it’s hard to decide which would be better. Anyway, let get off of that..

I’m thinking of signing up for a massage at least once, because I’m always tense. Not that I’m stressed out or anything, or even feeling tense, but I think it would feel good.. I’ll just try not to make those loud noises.. OHMYGOD, that feels so good.. OH, MORE.. AHHHHHH!!

The Book of Eleven – Brain Lint: I get a weekly massage, and try to think about profound things, but mostly just end up with thoughts like, “How many sheets would have to be piled up on top of me right now to crush me to death??”

Childhood Experience of the Night: All my life, relationships have been put on the back burner. I know I have a fear of them.. the ones I’ve had were great when they were going, but there was always a good reason to end them.. and it’s usually my fault.

I’ve always set timelines as to when I’d want to get into something serious … maybe when I got in high school, it would be the right time? Well, then I found I had a job that took up all my time, the relationship went on the back burner.. so I figured when I got a car, then I’d save some time commuting to work and school, but that wasn’t the answer either … I got another job, another car, moved out.. but still not the right time … three cars, and four jobs later … and possibly two apartments.. I still dont have a yearning to be in a relationship. I’ve watched friends and family deal with their ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends and divorces, and none of it appeals to me..

I remember being in a relationship with someone whose sport it was to argue all the time. I hate arguing and am much happier when I dont have to deal with things like that … she’d argue and argue and argue about stupid things until I’d finally get to a point where I’d say something and she’d end up crying … then I’d feel bad … but hated her for making me get to the point of making me get mad.

Then there is the jealousy.. I’m very insecure in relationships … I mean, why would someone want to be with me, I’m career driven and I’m sure there are better people out there.. so why would they want to be with me. I’d start to wonder if I hadn’t heard from her, or if I saw someone looking at her, or if she was paying attention to someone.. I hate the jealousy and insecurity.. it’ll eat you up.

So, while I’d love to have someone special in my life, there are aspects of the whole thing that would just ruin my life.. part of me likes having my independence and part of me longs for a special person to share what I have with.. I guess there is no perfect time, and if I keep waiting it could be forever. Now, to just find that person … oh where, oh where could that person be.

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