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Erk! Ouch! Ewwww …

Les and Cindy got back from Arizona yesterday morning. Because they had such a hard time with their flights going there, they decided to come back a day early. They called last night around midnight to let me know, still in a laughing fit.

I woke up bright and early on my day off. Today is Good Friday, but I’m not so sure what was so good about it.

My first stop this morning was to Home Depot to pick up some of the stuff I’d need to get the pond clean. I found some powdery stuff that is supposed to keep the water from turning green and won’t hurt the fish. I also decided to buy some really bright pink and yellow flowers/lilies to plant in the front of my mom’s house.

After Home Depot, I headed to the house to tossed the first of three loads into the washing machine, and started draining the pond into the lawn. So, while the pond drained, I did some weeding in the front. See, for some reason, my mom has lost the ability to actually pull weeds. So, I arrive and both lawns are overgrown, like a foot high, and the plant areas are full of weeds. So, I cut both lawns nice a trim and weeded both plant box areas. Then I planted the plants I bought in the front one, leaving the back area just as dirt. The back one has been nicknamed the “mountain” because its in the back corner of the yard and we always dumpt extra dirt on it.

Anyhow, once all the landscape work was done, I began the job of cleaning the pond. This was gross. I drained it down to about three inches and then had to try scooping the fish into a bucket. There are 32 fish in there and it takes forever because they move too quickly. Plus the water is so full of fish crap and muck that I can’t see them.

After fifteen minutes of wading through this awful smelling crap, I gathered all of the fish in a bucket, and began the process of cleaning the sludge out. Imagine the fishiest worst smell you can imagine and then multiple it by a thousand. Plus I have a prety weak stomach, so gagging is usually a symptom.

So, I kneeled down in the sludge because the pond is so deep I actually have to be in it to clean it. Now I smell like crap, my hands are covered in fish shit and I’m gagging to boot. I’ll bet French Girl can’t wait to get her hands on me now. Anyhow, with a bucket I took out most of the leftover water and then with a wetvac I cleaned out the rest. God do I live that wet vac. I have no clue how I’d clean out that half inch of fish crap without it.

Anyhow, it took me all day but I got the damn thing clean. Whoopie. The fish are happy, my mom is happy, and I ran home and spent an hour in the shower scraping a layer of skin off so the smell would be gone.

The other day I got a call from this Filipino lady, who left me a message on my machine. She asked for Glen, and then began a ten minute dialogue in her language. Well, I cracked up … because it was just funny. So, I called my roommate in, because I’m constantly getting calls from people leaving me random message for other people, but thought she’d enjoy this. Well, after we stopped laughing, she decided to interpret it for me, to the best of her ability.

This is what she came up with, and you have to read it fast, in a Filipino accent and waving your hands up in the air: “Oh Greg, you big hunk of man you, I want your body so badly, you big hunk of burning love. Please oh please, call me back, Greg, you big hunk of man, I want your hot sexy body right now”

And if anyone thinks I’m making fun of any culture then you obviously dont know me very well, because quite a few of my very good friends are Filipino … this call in particular was funny though.

So, my mom has bronchitis and so Easter is cancelled. Well, not cancelled, its postponed for two weeks, so Easter will be in May this year. That would mean I spent all day fixing up my moms yard for an Easter that won’t be happening for two more weeks. How does that work?

My back is killing me right now. Every time I do labor involving lifting or bending, my back goes out. So now I’m sitting on my bed unable to stand. Am I an old crotchety man yet? I was hoping it wouldnt happend until at least 35, but here I am 26 and can’t stand up.

Next Saturday is my friend Julie’s wedding party. We dont really know what to call it, because she got married last year secretly and so Saturday is just the party to celebrate it with friends. They will be having a family only tea ceremony in the morning, and then later on around 6PM we all join in for the celebration. It’ll be a ten course Chinese banquet style thing, so there will be plenty of food to taste or discover. I’m not big on the fish in the middle of the table with the eyeballs and fins still attached. I like meat I can identify and foods in general that dont look like they did when they were wandering the earth. Smash it, whip it, chop it, cut it, do whatever you need to to make it look less like an animal and more like a dish. Anyhow, it will be fun to see some of the people I went to high school with so long ago. Thats all next week.

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