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In Dreams …

Dreams are a funny thing. I mean, sometimes I can remember bits and pieces, but not enough to put a dream together, and more times I can’t remember anything. It’s how dreams work.

What dreams to you remember?* Here is the one I woke up to this morning, with tears in my eyes.

A few years ago, my grandmother passed away in a house fire. She didnt get burned, but the smoke inhalation killed her. The dream had to do with her.

In the dream, she had been told she needed a brain operation. I dont know whether it was to remove something or an exploratory type, but just some kind of brain surgery. The dream takes place in a hospital waiting room of sorts. My mom had just told my sister and I about the brain surgery grandma would be having and assured us that everything would be fine, but I knew that I’d never see her again after the brain surgery. I knew she’d die from some complication. We all sat around and talked, and in the end said to grandma that we’d see her when they were done with the operation. I held back tears, trying to be strong as usual. My grandmother got up and began walking away, down the hall, with tears in her eyes because she also knew she wouldn’t return. She got halfway down the hall, when I couldnt stand it anymore and ran from my seat to her, and hugged her crying, saying goodbye. When I woke up from the dream, I was crying. It was very real, but I think it also had a little to do with her sudden death a few years ago. Maybe this was a closure of sorts, who knows.

I was probably one of the few people that got to say goodbye to my grandmother before she died, and I was the first to see her after she died. The weekend before she died, my aunt drove her to my moms house where my mom was having a garage sale and I was helping her out. My grandmother didnt get out of the car, so I went over and spent some time beside the car talking to her. I brought the cat over and let her pet it and when it was time to leave, kissed her on the cheek and said goodbye. Which I’m happy that I got to at least have that chance to do that. When she passed away, I was the one to identify her body in the burned out home, because my mom and aunt were in no condition to take care of that and my uncle hadn’t arrived yet. After positively identifying her, I whispered goodbye grandma to her and was led away by the fire people.

Like I said, some dreams are more real than others, and although usually I dont remember them, there are some things in our lives that wake us up at night in cold sweats, or even with tears in your eyes. Also, most of the time these dreams are unexplainable, meaning that I’m not a depressed person, nor have I been thinking about this lately, so I dont know where it came from.

*there is a question of the day link in the entry, where you can add in a dream of your own.

Onto another subject, I was driving the other day down one of the main streets in the area where I work doing some errands. And there was this young girl of maybe 12 or 13 walking down the street. What struck me about her was that she had the potential to be a knockout, but I was impressed with her “tomboy” look of baggy jeans, plain t-shirt and straight blonde hair. Before I go further, I’m not some pervert scoping out young girls.

What I’m trying to get at, is that there are so many young girls as early at 8 to 10 years old, that are in such a hurry to grow up, wearing lipstick and tight grownup looking clothing, wearing bras before there is anything to actually support, and looking like they are 18 or 19, when they clearly aren’t. It makes me sad. These girls should be playing with dolls or climbing trees or just acting like kids and instead get swept up in trying to act grown up. The same day, I saw a young girl of about the same age, amidst a group of boys. They all looked about 12 or 13, and this girl had her hair all done, was wearing tons of makeup, and was wearing some tight pants cropped to the knee, with a tube top.

Both girls were about the same age, but the plainer looking girl was actually more attractive because of her potential, than was the girl who was trying to look older than she clearly was. I just thought the plainer girl walking around in her baggy jean, and tomboy looks had no idea what would be happening to her in a couple of years. She would realize that guys would be all over her because of her simplicity. Of course, she might start wearing different clothing or add a little makeup but what would be attractive to guys would be the fact that she was good looking and didnt know it.

Something very attractive to me and a lot of other guys is a girl that is beautiful and has no idea. Other girls are jealous of her hair or features, but still she doesnt know it. Girls that spackle on piles of makeup and spend hours to make their hair “just right”, often do that because they aren’t naturally beautiful. They walk out the door hoping that all the work they spent getting ready will get them noticed and would probably kill to be able to walk out the door fresh faced. The girl with the natural beauty will win over every time, at least in my book.

Today, I’m spending a little time with Les and Cindy. I’m going to go see Fantasia at the IMAX theater at the Metreon in San Francisco. The show is in its last showings and Les and I were planning to see it even before Cindy came back from Tonga, so now we have a final chance to see it.

It should be fun to spend some time with them, since I hardly see them anymore, due to busy schedules and stuff. I should get going, I have to take a shower and get ready. We are either driving there or taking BART (the train type of thing within SF, it travels underground mostly once in SF, and on a raised track outside of SF).

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