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The big race …

Hey guys and dolls, I made it! Today was the San Francisco tradition known as Bay to Breakers. It’s a run from the middle of the cities financial district all the way through a few neighborhoods through Golden Gate Park and down to the ocean, a total of 7.5 miles. Actually, its more like 10 miles, because you do the 7.5 miles and then there’s another couple of miles to walk until you get to the refreshments.

I did this last year with Les and now it’s a tradition, so every year we do the marathon. Of course our loved ones begin asking what they will be inheriting from me when I die. You know you have to get those types of things cleared up before a very big marathon. Not that everyone is greedy, more that they want to know where they stand when push comes to shove. I mean I have some good shit and lots of people want a piece of it.

Now I know what the obvious question is: What the hell are you thinking? Aren’t you the same Greg that doesn’t ever ever exercise, why would you run a freaking 7.5 miles? Is that the question? Am I close? Well, see, everyone in San Francisco knows that the Kenyans always win the race. I mean they finish the god damned thing in ten minutes while the rest of us huff and puff our way past the finish line about two hours or more later. The reason I do it is to show myself that I can do it. I mean, I’m not trying to beat anyone and I’m not trying to strain myself. I mean, shit, I don’t exercise, like I’m going to actually push myself on something like this. So I usually start out jogging a bit and then I usually end up speed walking the remainder. Two hours later, I’m finished with the race and I can go home.

Les and I usually split up during the race, just because it’s easier for us to go at our own pace than to try to keep up with each other. He likes to actually do the marathon type of thing, where I like to not kill myself. We usually set up a meeting spot and at the end that’s where we find each other. We also leave a car overnight at the finish line so that when it’s time to leave we can take that car back. We have quite the system.

Now let me explain a little about Bay to Breakers. It’s not your average marathon, this is afterall, San Francisco. All the streets are blocked off, so the cars won’t run us over, and this time there were 70,000 people who showed up. Les and I dropped my car off at the BART (San Francisco’s subway-like train) and took the train into the city, where we’d meet Rose and Mike, two of our friends. As we came up from the underground stairway, I immediately heard that oh so easy to spot voice of Rose’s yelliing, GREG!!! We met up with them and headed to wherever we could get to near the staring point, for us a block away. Then the fun begins. See there is this strange tradition of throwing tortillas like frisbees before the race. Like millions of them. The corn tortillas fly all over the place and when they land, people pick them up and toss them again. Imagine millions of tortillas flying all over the place. Don’t ask how it started, but it happened last year and it’s going to happen every year forward now.

Anyhow, we hear the starting sound and then we stand, not moving for about ten minutes, until the people start to move. It’s like when there are a bunch of cars at a stop light and the light turns green, but you are way in the back and you don’t actually start moving forward until the light turns red again. Works with people also. And when you do actually start moving, you don’t actually move, but shuffle for the first fifteen minutes. It’s actually way to many people for my comfort level, but I have to keep in mind that eventually things will thin out and I’ll be on my own.

Les took off immediately. Rose and Mike stuck with me for the first mile and then we lost each other, so I kept at it. To my left naked people, to my right more naked people, all around me naked people. Must pass the naked people. There are plenty of fun people on the way, some sitting on their doorstoops watching and cheering, some pull out their garden hoses and spray the crowd down, I got hit in the side of the face and thought my cellphone was wiped out, but it still works.

Water was a little scarce this time around. Instead of the usual bottles of water, they were passing out those teeny dixie cups. Well, I tried to grab one, but the ten thousand other people grabbing them kind of left me out in the cold. So as I ran passed the table I found an open box of humongous water bottles and grabbed one and went on my way. I think I stole it. But it saved my life, so whatever. A little stealing for my health has to be good. Anyway, they were teasing us with those tiny little drops of water.

I forced myself to run the last half a mile and made it to the finish line with the other 20,000 folks who were running beside me. Another couple of miles of walking and I was able to meet up with Les under the big C, we had agreed on prior. We were both very hungry so we went to Denny’s and grabbed some fresh fruit and a hamburger and then agreed that sleep was in our not so distant future.

I got home, did some errands, grabbed some more fruit from the store and fell asleep for a few hours. Upon awaking, I found that the soreness of my muscles was not so much a soreness anymore, but now I was just unable to move. LOL. Not really, actually I’m a little tight though and walking kind of hurts. A good masseuse in the house anyone?

Today it was the hottest day of the year. Something like 95 degrees. Yes, I did a marathon in 90 degree weather. It’s a heatwave or something, that is going to last a few days. Now don’t get the thought in your head that this is how the weather always is. See its usually 70 or so at the hottest in the Bay Area, so 90 is like a freaking oven. I am SOOOOOO hot right now, I could just rip my skin off.

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