Plays Well With Others

I am a BAD American [revisited]

Note: I posted this a few days ago, something I found on a message board, and decided to revisit it, with some commentary, just because I can and because no one even reads this journal, so I’m basically talking to myself anyway.

I am a BAD American.
We probably all are at some point. For the most part, we hate the government and what it stands for … I know I’m a bad american, although there are worse out there.

I am George Carlin.
I’m not.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I also believe the money I earn and work hard for should be MINE. I should get all of it, and I believe that rather than going into social security, MY money should be put into a retirement account with MY name on it. Not a government account that will be all used up by the time I get old enough to need it. I also believe that MY money shouldn’t go to help people who couldn’t care less about getting a job, getting off drugs and squirt out babies their whole life, expecting the government, namely US, to pick up the tab.

I’m not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
Feelings are over-rated … who needs them.

I think owning a gun doesn’t make you a killer.
Although I believe that we’d be better off without guns in our society, I dont believe that owning a gun makes you a killer, unless you take that gun and cap someone in the head with it. Merely owning said object just makes you the owner of a deadly weapon.

I believe it’s called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I think equality only needs to go so far. I think that men/boys should be able to have clubs separate from women/girls, and it should be okay. Our country is sue happy, and I think that any court that would allow a girl to sue to join the boy scouts, or vice versa should be disassembled. I totally believe in equality for all, but also believe that if you start an organization you should be able to choose what kind of members you’d like to join the organization.

I don’t think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
Ugh. If I have to hear one more person mention how they were victimized a couple hundred years ago and that the rest of us now owe them, I’m going to scream. Its a bunch of bullshit, really. I didnt do anything to anyone and I dont owe anyone anything either.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac in New York or Los Angeles, you’d better do it in English.
This goes deeper than having an immigrant in a McDonalds selling me a Big Mac in english. I truly believe that in order to become a citizen of the United States, you should be forced to pass an english competency exam. I thought it was our primary language, yet half the people can’t even utter one english word. Now, part of my family comes from Mexico and they made a committment to learn basic english when they moved here. My grandparents could both speak enough english to get through everyday tasks and I believe that everyone living in this country should do the same. I think if I were to live in France, I’d be expected to know French, so I dont understand why the same rules don’t apply here. Speak english people.

I don’t use the excuse “it’s for the children” as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.
It’s not always for the children. In California, our lottery money should be going to schools to help make them better and nearly twenty years later, our schools are more over crowded, and now they dont even have playgrounds because they are filled with portable classrooms. It’s not always for the children.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I do to, except that then you have a bunch of assholes lighting them up and burning people’s houses down. They did used to be legal, and then people got carried away, just like they always do. Now we can’t have fireworks anymore.

I think that being a student doesn’t give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven’t begun to be enlightened.
Tell me about it. I think that unless you pay your own way through school, you won’t ever realize how much things really cost. You are definately not an independent, self sufficient person if your parents are still mailing out a check every semester to cover your costs. I think everyone needs to work there way through college and pay at least half the bill, to find out what the real world is really like.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God.
Totally. I also believe we have the right to not be bothered by people trying to shove their God down our throats. I believe that I should be able to pray to my God in my house, rather than in some cold building, where their main objective is to get money out of you.

Hillary Clinton is a carpet-munching lesbian.
I doubt it. I think just because she’s smart and strong willed, doesnt make her a “carpet-munching lesbian”.

My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
Whatever.

I don’t hate the rich. I don’t pity the poor.
Neither do I. Doesnt mean I want to be poor, or wouldnt like to be rich.

I know wrestling is fake and I don’t waste my time arguing about it.
Neither do I.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter?
I dont know enough about global warming to agree or disagree, all I know is that its getting hotter in the Bay Area [reached 105 degree a few weeks ago], and colder in the winter, so something is going on.

I’ve never owned a slave, or was a slave; I didn’t wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt; I haven’t burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks … . and neither have you, so shut-the-#$%!-up already.
EEEEEEEEEXACTLY! I didnt own slaves and my family didnt own slaves and if I have to hear one more person say that we all owe them because two hundred years ago our founding fathers owned slaves I’m going to go postal. In fact, at this point, none of us have owned slaves, so everyone needs to just shut the fuck up already and move on.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always part of the problem and not the solution.
Because he’s a hypocritical piece of crap, that’s why. He gets involved in everything, he preaches about shit he doesnt know anything about, he hypocritically blasted Clinton while he was boinking someone himself, and he’s a big scam artist.

I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
Exactly. If you are speeding or ran a red light, you deserve to get your ass pulled the hell over, regardless of whether you are black, white, purple or green. You arent being oppressed and singled out, your just a law breaking person like the rest of us. The race card doesnt work here, try again.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don’t want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation the world for the next four years.
I partly agree, although I still find it amusing how that ballot had one line with Bushes name and a line directly pointing to his punch hole, and then Gore’s line was some haphazard, jump up a couple of lines to punch his hole.

I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making ‘donations’ to their cause. These people should be targets.
I dont think we should run them over, but I also dont think standing in an intersection should be legal. If they can do that, why can’t I set up a coffee stand at some random stop light. I think the reason it bothers us so much to see them is because looking at them makes us realize that those people exist. Sure it would be easier to shove them into a building full of cots out of our site, but they do exist.

I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.
For those unfamiliar, the passing lane is the lane farthest left, aka. the “fast lane”. Theoretically, you only go in that lane if you want to pass the rest of the cars on the freeway and once you’ve passed you move back into the second fastest lane. The reason I am defining it si because half the assholes in California use it as their own personal speedway … either that or they drive like a grandma and hold up all the folks actually trying to pass someone.

I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.
Yeah, it could also rot your teeth out and cause heart disease.. but if thats your thing, chomp away.

I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
Bullshit. My mom did just fine without a second parent around. I think it takes one good parent to raise a child, it only takes two to actually produce them.

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don’t pretend they are a political statement.
I could care less what you do with your body and what you think it stand for.

I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.
He really was.

I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it is sex for both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United States.
If you are naked and touching each other in sexual ways, its sex … it doesnt make you a bad President though, its makes you a human being.

I am neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
I’m a pretty happy person, to tell the truth. Very opinionated, and happy.

If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I’m a BAD American.

If you too are a BAD American please forward this to everyone you know. We need our country back!

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

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