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Child murderer or negligent parenting …
Parents have the tough job of making sure their kids are safe … all the time, while also taking care of the daily household needs. Cooking dinner and turn away for a second to grab that can out of the pantry, and during that split second the kid grabbed the pot and scaulded themselves unrecognizable. Bathing the baby and turn away to grab a towel and the baby ends up face down in the water. Stop at a corner mailbox and drop some letters off, while the kid jumps in the front and put the car in gear, crashing into a building. These could all be considered negligent acts of parents, but could also lead those parents to a jail cell.
I dont think most parents put their children in harms way on purpose, but most parents try to juggle multiple tasks and sometimes make judgement errors. When I was young, my mom was ironing and she turned away just long enough for me to reach over and touch the hot iron. Was she negligent, should she be hand-cuffed and thrown in jail. Not really. It was a mistake. And I never touched a hot iron again. More of a learning experience for both of us.
So, back to this guy in the news. He says that his forgot that his kid was even in the car. Do you believe him? I do. Take a normal day of a parent. Wake up, get dressed, dress the kid, feed the kid, get the kid in the car, off to daycare, off to work, etc. The daily routine. Now of course, forgetting your kid in the car, is a pretty BIG mistake, but it can happen. You get in your daily rut, you run around and you think you took care of things you didnt take care of . You have a quiet kid in the back of your car and run in to a family members house and start talking. You think the kid is in daycare.
Did he do it on purpose? Of course not. Imagine the feeling he must’ve had when he realized the kid was in the car on that hot day. That feeling where your heart drops to your feet and the panic to follow. You run out hoping that the kid isnt there and as you get closer you see the tiny body in your car … windows rolled up. Your world has ended.
Will a jail sentence do anything to him that the loss of his child hasnt already done to him. He’ll live the rest of his life knowing that one momentary lapse cost him the life of his child. But that’s all it takes – one momentary lapse. How many of us have had one of those in our lives. Maybe you put something on the stove and burned it, or turned on the water in the yard and flooded it. Maybe you were doing something and got on the phone and lost track of time. All momentary lapses.
So, should he go to jail. Well, this is where the subject of intent comes in. Was his intent to kill his kid in a car that reached over 120 degrees. I dont think so. Again, a lapse of judgement. He didnt roll the car into a lake with the kids strapped inside intending to kill them, he forgot the kid was in the car.
I think most of us will be parents at some point and I think that before we judge this guy we should think about what it would be like if we were in his shoes. It’d be awful and the internal torment would outweigh anything a prison sentence could possibly do to him.
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5 Responses to 'Child murderer or negligent parenting …'
For a moment there I thought that you were going to criticize the hell out of this guy. I am glad that you didn’t. I know of people who do worse things to their kids, and they aren’t in jail right now. Namely my boyfriend’s mother, but we won’t go into that tonight because this thing would be a mile long. 🙂
my opinion is totally opposite of yours. there is a huge difference between accidentally leaving a cup or some books in a car and leaving a CHILD in the car. its really sad because the child is so helpless and they rely on their parent/guardian 100% just to live because they cannot do anything for themselves and when their own parent forgets them in a car and they lose their life over it, that is just a shame. its not fair to the kid. i totally agree with you when you say we all make bad judgemental mistakes in our lives, about the hot pot, the hot iron, all of that…and i understand about getting lost in the daily routine of things, but if you can run inside and start a conversation with someone…and totally forget you have a human being in the car that could very well die in the scoulding heat…that IS child neglect. child neglect isnt a child pulling a hot pan of water over and burning themselves, child neglect isnt being burnt by a hot iron, child NEGLECT is when you completely leave a child in a car, and worst of all, FORGETTING about it. i just cant imagine how you could forget a baby in a car.im sure if i had a baby it would be everything in the world to me. i would love it so dearly. i dont see how you can forget something you love so much like that. it just doesn’t make sense to me. maybe this guy had more problems than he is letting on.as a parent, your #1 job should be to do the best for your child and make sure the child is as safe as it can be. accidents happen, i understand that completely. leaving a child in a car and FORGETTING about it…thats not an accident (in my opinion). i feel so sorry for the baby. having to die. not even having a choice in the matter. being so helpless. burning up in that car, and couldnt even do a thing.yes there is a difference between putting your kids in a car and driving into a lake to purposely kill them. big difference. but whether it was on purpose or merely “accidental” it still shouldnt be excused. a LIFE was taken because of someones irresponsibility and i know nobody is perfect but when it comes to parenting, responsibility is pretty much the #1 thing you have to master.its just not fair, to that poor, helpless baby. i just cant even imagine.i know the father must be feeling terrible. he must be…dying inside. i cant imagien how that feels. i know it has to be horrible. but before you completely excuse his acts, think about the baby too. think about how helpless the baby was. babies rely on adults to secure them and create a safe environment for them. babies cant do anything else but breathe, sleep, eat, and poop. the second a baby is born and put into the parents arms, that is when that childs life is completely and souly in YOUR hands.its just not fair.
Those are the kind of comments I like to see… really long ones. Go Candace. Even though we are on opposite sides of the fence on this one.I still dont understand how going to jail is going to help this guy out. I mean, usually when you neglect your kid, the kid gets taken away from you. What kind of punishment could possibly top the internal punishment this guy is going to put himself through for the rest of his life. Of course, part of being a parent means making the child number one, but I still think that we all make mistakes. Some bigger than others. I’m not saying it wasn’t irresponsible of him. Just like kids playing with matches and burning down the house, or kids playing with a gun and it going off. I dont think jail can help with things like this. The punishment we put on ourselves is usually worse than any prison term can give us.
i dont think jail is going to help anything. i dont think anything can help the situation because nothing that happens is going to bring back this kids life, but i also agree that on the kids behalf, this guy needs something, anything. im not saying he needs to sit on death row or sit in a small prison cell until his dying day, but something needs to come of this. its very unfair to the child.and i agree that the guy is probably going through some mad crazy internal stuff right now and he would probably rather be dead than living. but we cant let that be everyones punishment. its hard to judge that kind of situation because when it comes to hard assed criminals, like all of the idiots who were the perpretator (sp?) in any of the school shootings, its hard to tell whether they are being sincere about their regret or if they are just saying it to hopefully earn some sympathy. i watched a thing about kip kerkel (sp? i suck at spelling, ugh) and how he shot his parents and then a couple people at school and killed htem and then injured all these other people at the school. well they had an interview w/him and he was crying and saying he was so sorry and that he loved his parents and it was the voices in his head and all of this other crazy crap. and yeah if hes honestly speaking, then he is probably being put through hell by just living every single day because of the emotional turmoil he is going through, but that just isnt enough…he DESERVES to be in prison.now i know its really dumb to compare a murderer’s story to a child neglect story but i just had to compare how, although emotional turmoil plays a big role in the punishment of such criminals, it just isn’t always enough. i know this is a mistake (even though ill never be able to understand how a person can forget their own child like that) but i still dont think it should go unrecongizable. i dont think they should drop all charges and let the man go and say it was a mistake and slap him on the wrists.i guess when it all comes down to it, the fact is that…this guy screwed up big time and he is going to pay for it every single day for the rest of his life knowing he took a life away from an innocent child. so basically, no punishment or anything can correct the situation or make it any less dificult to deal with.so with that, i end this entire debate, hoping that this guy can do something with his life (if/when he gets out of jail or whatever other legal punishment is administered) to better himself. maybe he can have another child…raise it…love it…and think of his lost son every step of the way, because he owes it to that baby…because god help the man if he makes the same mistake again (still cant see how he made it the first time!)(im not a good debate person. i have bad grammar and bad spelling and bad everything-else so people usually take me a lot less seriously. but i swear, behind all of the screwed-up-ness of my speech, i honestly feel deeply about such situations as this. so try to look past the crappy grammar/spelling/etc.)im not a religious person…so let the powers-that-be guide this man in the RIGHT direction next time.
Actually Candace, you’re doing a great job at debating. As far as spelling and grammar goes, it’s the least important thing to me, as you can probably tell by most of my entries. Our focus should go into fixing the world, not spelling it to death.