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Reviewed …

Whether you’ve been through one or not, there comes a time when you have to get a performance review at work. Seems like such a ridiculous thing to have to go through but if you ever want a raise or a promotion, then you’ll have to go through it. For the most part, your boss will bring you in a room and discuss how you are doing, they’ll have filled out some kind of form and you’ll get to read what a retard you are. Believe me, if you hated work before this, you’ll sure as hell hate it more after this.

Well, I’ve gone through tons of these at this point in my life, and for the most part they’ve all been excellent. Really. I wish I had copies of all of them to show off to all my bosses. In fact, I found one earlier this week that I was reading over and thought I’d excerpt how wonderful I am … you know, because no one else does.

So, in the customer service skills category my boss said “Greg is extremely easy going … gets along with everyone … [he’s] easy going and calm and a pleasure to work with. He’s able to maintain a good attitude even under the most trying circumstances.”

As for judgement/problem solving skills “[He] is an independent worker who displays good decision-making abilities.”

And in regards to productivity/time management “[He] is very productive. He is able to juggle his work effectively and meet our deadlines … even handling [a volunteer program] on top of his work with [the magazine].”

In the initiative category, I’m described as “[He] will often volunteer for projects that don’t necessarily fall under his specific job duties. He is very responsible about meeting deadlines even when it means working late to meet them: if it’s humanly possible to meet a deadline, Greg will make it.”

You know as I read this entry, it’s starting to sound more like one of those movie reviews. “The action packed thriller of the summer: GREG. He’s productive, He’s reliable, He’s an independent worker … go see him now at an office near you … “

Anyhow, the reason I’m talking about reviews is that I got a sixty day review at my new job on Friday, and basically she said that I’m doing exceptionally well, which is a real pick me up, since I have a tendency to always think I suck. I dont know what it is, it’s just one of those inbred things that makes me think I’m doing a lousy job and I’m on the brink of getting fired. And then I walk into one of those review meetings and the bosses come up with all these glowing things and it really shocks the hell out of me. Of course, then I sit there waiting for the BUT. “We love you. we think you are great, we love everything about you … BUT … you suck.” Of course, the “you suck” part never comes.

So, at this point, I’m doing a great job at work and my boss loves me. I’m supposed to get an official review sometime in September. Thats the big one. It determines any salary raises, any possibility of promotion in the future and basically sets you up in a direction in the company. So, now I have to work hard to get good marks on that one. The official one is basically a rating system of your work qualiities. From one to ten, you get rated on how well you know your job, do your job, etc. If you get a ten, you may as well take your bosses job, so those arent usually handed out, and if you gets ones, you may as well steal a good solid cardboard box from the supply room, because thats where you’ll be living. So, for the most part, I’d expect sixes and sevens, which mean you are doing a good job, slighty better than someone just skating through. We’ll see in September.

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