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The hidden truth …

Know anybody that hides things? Like in their own house. I think it runs in my family. My mom hides things and my grandmother hid things – I’m afraid that someday I’ll be hiding things. Ugh.

My mom hides things all over the house. It’s insane, because besides my sister, no one ever goes over there. Plus, it’s not like she’s hiding jewelry or anything valuable. All the jewelry is out on the dresser in plain sight, inside the jewelry box. No, my mom hides things like scissors. That woman must have ten pairs of scissors in that house – all hidden. She also hides pens, and screwdrivers, and keys. Just strange stuff. “Mom, I need a tape measure, where is it?” “Hold on, go in the living room and I’ll get it for you”. Good lord, like I’m going to steal a tape measure. Hiding things isnt the big problem though. The problem is that she can’t remember where she put anything. For example, she’s got one of those big maps that you use to collect the state quarters. The thing is huge and you stick the quarters into the state its from. It’s like two feet by three feet, and somehow she lost it … erm, I mean, put it away. So the other day, she’s tearing the house apart looking for this thing when I went over. I asked what she was looking for and then helped her try to find it. How you lose a board that’s two feet by three feet is beyond me, but we eventually found it. Well, I actually found it. After about an hour, I found it on a table that was the same size as the board, with a tablecloth on top of it, so that from the naked eye, you just saw a flat surface. The thing is probably worth six bucks total, so why the hell hide it. Ugh. We did find ten screwdrivers, three tape measures, twelve pens and couple of notepads in our search.

Of course, my grandmother was the same way. Except instead of hiding household items, she hid money. And not in just one place, but in about a hundred places. Little envelopes full of cash all over the house. We all knew that she did it, just didnt know exactly WHERE the money was. When she passed away, we tried to look for most of the money and didnt come up with, except for some hair combs and stuff. Unfortunately, we also didnt have much time to look because the insurance folks came over so fast to clean up the fire damage, so they probably took any money that was left in the house. They did however miss one room. I went by the next day to see if anything was left in the house and going room by room, ended up in the front bedroom – the only room with a carpet still in it. Dont ask me what, but something made me pull the carpet up in that room and underneath it was an envelope with $3000 in it. After my mild heart attack, I brought it home and gave it to the family. That’s all we managed to find hidden in the house. Of course, like I said, the insurance folks swept in there so fast that I’m sure they kept anything else that was found in there.

So then we come to me, who doesnt hide anything. I mean, there’s really no use in hiding anything. I have so much crap that anyone who broke in would probably run away not knowing what to take. They’d be like, ‘where do I start’. I’m hoping that the act of hiding stuff doesnt run in the family. Can anyone relate?

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