Plays Well With Others

The Laundromat Chronicles …

The laundromat is a great place for journal inspiration. I mean, I can guarantee that when I leave the laundromat, I’ll have a great entry to write about. Probably half the people that go there are just plain crazy – even in a wealthy suburb like the one I live in, erm, or maybe especially in the wealthy suburb that I live in.

As of late, Wifey™ and I have been on the frugal side, doing laundry at my mom’s house on weekends to save ourselves the ten bucks it would cost to do laundry at the laundromat. I know, hardly anything, but that ten bucks bought us dinner a couple of nights. Anyhow, we’d both been paid last week and decided to splurge and do laundry at the ‘mat.

The great thing about doing laundry at the ‘mat is that it gets done in an hour and a half. Just pile your laundry into four washers and in half and hour all your laundry is washed. It’s not free like using mom’s services but it also doesnt take ALL day to do laundry either. The bad thing about going to the ‘mat is that you never know who’s going to be in there. But we chanced it.

Now, you would think a Friday night wouldn’t be a big laundry night for most people. I mean, I would think most people would be out on the town or doing fun things, but definately the laundromat would be at the bottom of their list. Well, Wifey™ and I had just come back from our “date night” dinner and decided to get our laundry done before our busy weekend.

We walked in and found the place crowded as hell. Every washer was taken, except for those double and triple loaders they have. Ugh. Who the hell is ever going to do a triple load of laundry? Wouldn’t everything run together? Anyhow, after a few moments we managed to capture four machines that this one lady had just finished using and dumped our crap in. We got them soaped up and all set and took a walk around the block until they finished washing.

Our walk took less time than we thought and when we got back the washer were still going. No problem. We’ll wait. While waiting this guy behind us was doing his laundry in the most unique way I’ve ever seen in my life. He was an older gentleman and looked like he had some sort of dementia going on. And, like I said, his laundry technique was something I’d never seen before.

He’d fill the machines with his clothes, about four or five machines, and then walk to the sink and fill large jugs full of water and start pouring them into the machines. He continued to do this for about an hour. Once the machines were full of water, he’d put his hands in the machines and start moving the clothes around, like he was manually agitating them … you know, the same way that long arm thing in the middle of the machine does when you turn it on. The entire time, neither Wifey™ nor I saw him put any money in the machines, but we were assuming he was manually washing his clothes in the machines. He also poured about half a box of Borax soap into the machines, haphazardly.

All of this pretty much put a show on for the entire laundromat. What made it interesting is that, first off, he had a wife who looked pretty with it, but went along with everything he said. He’d tell her to manually agitate the laundry and she’d go right along and do it. Erm. Secondly, he’d randomly pull soaking wet piles of clothes out of the machines and slap them into other machines, leaving a huge puddle all over the floor. And, finally, he pulled his shirt off in the middle of this chaos to wash it. Eww.

Meanwhile, everyone in the place sort of stayed out of the aisle he was working in, would whisper to each other about him and would take quick glances in amazement over what he was doing over there. There were a few moments where the smell would just overpower the place and I’d have to take a walk outside for air. See, when you wash clothes that way there is a musty smell that starts to extract from the clothes, more than likely from the fact that your clothes are soaking in their own dirt, rather than having clean water sprayed on them throughout the cycle. It’s pretty revolting if you ask me.

Anyhow, Wifey™ and I pretty much booked it once our laundry was finished. Ugh. Next time I’ll just offer the guy a rock next to a creek and he can do his laundry that way. If you put quarters in the machines, they’ll fill with water on their own and will agitate on their own. It’s pretty darn amazing if you ask me. What will they invent next – gasoline powered carriages?


About one year ago today: Ouch …

About two years ago today: She killed Kenny(s’ mom) …

2 Responses to 'The Laundromat Chronicles …'

  1. personal avatar
    laura copeland | 19 November 2001

    oh boy, that made me laugh very hard. thank you!


  2. personal avatar
    Ben Collver | 13 January 2004

    Too bad you didn’t stick around to see how he dried them. Poor guy, he was probably short on cash at the time.


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