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The most boring weekend ever …

Well, as promised, here’s the entry about the weekend with the friends. It started bright and early Saturday morning, when Wifey™ and I got to packing and then planned to head out to the market to buy some mini-croissants for the road, since we wouldnt be eating breakfast first. Ring, ring. Guess who? Yep, the friends seeing if we were ready to head out. So, we mentioned going to the market for some road goodies and they decided to head that way also. We decided to meet them there and follow them up. No problems so far.

So, the trip was about 3.5 hours long, and in the end we ended up in the town of Columbia. So, as we approached we could tell from a distance that this would be an interesting experience. Basically the town is closed to vehicles. Only horse drawn carriagees are allowed within the town borders. And the town borders are basically a strip about two blocks long. Two very, very short blocks. Most of the buildings are uninhabited and used as museums, and then there are about ten places that are actually in business. Quite a few shops catering to tourists, a saloon, and a candy shop. Thats about it.

So, when we arrived at about 1:30PM, we parked near the bed and breakfast we were staying at and headed into “town”, and I use that word very loosely. Our check in time was 3:30PM, so we basically had to waste some time until we could get into our rooms. We walked the “town” in about half an hour. The whole thing. We basically saw everything. There’s not much to see, like I said before. A few highlights would be watching the candy store make candy canes, and the candle factory. Like I said, it was a boring town. Watching candy canes being made was a highlight … that should tell you something. My personal highlight was the small candle store, because they actually made the candles and soaps in the store, and it made Wifey™ and I want to try our hand at making stuff like that.

Anyhow, when check in time rolled around, we were very ready to head to our rooms and watch some TV or something. So, we entered the B&B and were immediately greeted by the owners who showed us to the “living room” area for cookies and warm apple cider. Erm, is anyone else getting a visual of a Norman Rockwell painting right now. I swear to God, that this was just like one of those. I’m not used to it. Usually, when I check into some place, I head right to my room and dont chit chat with anyone. Well, these people, although extremely nice and friendly, seemed as though they hadnt seen a human being, aside from each other, in decades. They even finished each others sentences if that isnt the most annoying thing on earth.

Guy: Welcome to Columia, have you made some dinner reservations, because we could suggest the City Hotel …

Lady: … which has great food and it will be a great evening …

Guy: … because the courses are big and filling …

Lady: … and the walk home will be nice after the meal.

Ugh. Anyhow … after our hot apple cider and cookies we were all led to our rooms. Our room was right at the top of the staircase. It was probably about a 12×12 space with a small bathroom. The room was named the Gold Rush room and was filled with “gold rush” type of stuff, like gold nuggets, a big wine barrel, etc. Very rustic looking. Not the image of romance I was picturing when the friends gave us this as a wedding gift.

After showing us to our room, we headed over to the friends room. My mouth basically dropped to the floor when the guy opened the door. There’s was called the Angel room and was filled with cherrubs and angelic stuff. The room itself was twice as large as ours, it had a wood burning stove, as opposed to our wall heater, a seating area, as opposed to our rocking chair, and there bathroom was probably as big as the room we were in. There bathroom had a walk-in shower and a jacuzzi, whirlpool tub for two. Erm. Thanks for the gift immediately came to mind. What made it worse is that the price difference for the rooms was only $30 and there were two of each kind. Now, the reason I was kind of annoyed is that this was sold to us as a wedding gift for Wifey™ and I, so that we could have a romantic weekend getaway. Of course, our room was anything but romantic. The tub was so small, that even one of us would be squashed getting into it, let alone two of us. The bed was so damn squeaky that any little movement made it hard to do anything, and the room just wasnt dripping in the romance that there’s was. I dont know what the hell was up with that. Drag out asses way out into the boonies and then give us the crappy room, while you take the nice plush room. Ugh.

So, here we are in Crappytown, USA, in a peanut of a room, with no TV or radio or anything, and we can’t even have sex without the whole building knowing about it. We ended up taking a nap to kill the time, four hours to be exact, until the dinner reservations. Ugh. If I had known that there wasnt even a TV in the room, I would have brought a book or something. Jesus.

So, dinner came and we had a pretty good time with that. I mean, at least we were eating, and it gave us something to do for about two hours. Seventy-five dollars later, we headed out and headed home only to be followed home by this cat. The thing was basically starved for attention. It would walk between your feet and practically knock you on your head to get you to pet it.

Once at the B&B we basically just went to bed. Yep, at about 9:30PM at night. Ugh. Dullsville. Of course, because it’s not my own bed, I got hardly any sleep at all, and before I knew it morning had arrived. Thank God. We got ready and headed down to breakfast, which was an experience in its own. See, they serve breakfast for you as a part of the cost to stay there. The thing is, is that you have no clue what you’ll be eating. Denny’s it isnt. So, our first course was cranberry apple juice or something, along with a pear pudding type of deal and a banana spice cake, which wasnt too bad. At least edible. Next up was something “they call Gold Rush babies”. Exactly, what he told us. Erm, then he proceeded not to explain what they were exactly. So, here we sit with a long oval plate, filled with a hollow pancake of some sort and then that was filled with ricotta cheese, we think, and it was all topped with syrup and some kind of jam. Erm. An odd combination indeed. I ate the sausages on the side, and about half of my “gold rush baby”. And then we headed out.

And that pretty much ended the most boring weekend I’ve ever had in my life. Ugh. I dont want any more gifts like that. Especially, if your half of my gift is ten times more plush than my half of my gift. Thankyouverymuch.

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