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The week that wasn’t …

As you can tell from my lack of writing, it’s been one of those weeks, that just didnt have much to it. Kind of a blah week. Blah.

Woke up Monday morning to the sound of one of my favorite morning DJ’s. In the studio was a lady that will come to your house and teach you how to cook … naked. Erm. She’s naked. And she’s teaching you how to cook. And you are naked too. Get it. You can’t touch her or anything, and she doesnt do raunchy stuff. She just cooks and shows you how. Most of her clients are men. Hard to believe, isn’t it? 🙂 Well, you can fully understand that this got my mind going into overdrive.

I mean, she said that you can give her services to someone as a gift and all I could think of was how Wifey™ would react to getting a naked cooking instructor as a present. “Here, honey, I got you something, she’ll be out in a second”. Hmm. Would that be a gift for her or for me?

Of course, I could also learn to cook and that would be a BIG help around the house. “Honey, Happy Valentines Day. I learned to cook today. The naked lady is just the instructor, dont worry about her. What’s important is that I learned how to make Veal Parmigana.”

Anyhow, I brought it up to Wifey™ and it didnt go too well. So I guess I won’t be ordering the naked cooking instructor anytime soon.

Wednesday rolled around, and Wifey™ and I had been invited over to a friends house for dinner. What’s strange is that we dont really hang out with these friends, except for Christmas and weddings. They’re sort of friends of friends, more than my friends, but nonetheless, we were invited for a quiet, intimate dinner for four. It’s free food, so I’m not complaining.

We started off with a simple salad, which was nice and then the main course rolled around. She put the chicken and bread on the table and immediately jumped up and pulled the chicken back into the kitchen, saying that she’d forgotten to add the walnuts. WALNUTS. Those are the things I’m deathly allergic to. I managed to catch her before she dumped them in and avoided the catastrophy that laid before us. Whew. One meal saved. Everyone else sprinkled walnuts onto their meals, while I ate mine sans-walnuts.

We then sat for a little while looking through old wedding albums, and then taking a tour of the house. It was okay. And then came dessert. A coffeecake. I wasn’t very hungry, but figured that since she’d gone to the trouble of making the thing from scratch, I’d at least try it out. One bite. Two bites. Tasted good. Then Wifey™ took a bite and CRUNCH, “are there walnuts in this??” The hostess nodded that there were and immediately everyone looks at me. OMYGOD, THERE ARE WALNUTS IN THE COFFEECAKE. And they stared. Is he swelling up, is he going to die right here in the living room. How will we all explain to everyone that we killed Greg. And then the questions. “What’s going to happen to you?” Erm. I dont know. We’ll just have to wait and see. Luckily, I’d only eaten a small amount of the cake and my throat only swelled up a little bit. Enough to make it really itchy and enough for me to feel the swelling, but not enough to require medical intervention. Wifey™ gave me two Benadryl pills, which I might add is probably enough to knock out a healthy horse and turned me into a walking zombie for two days, but it took down the swelling and helped me sleep.

Thursday was our turn to host a dinner and this time for my mom’s birthday. Wifey™ didnt have to work, so she spent the day making her first ever lasagna and her first ever birthday cake, which both turned out very well. My job for the day was to buy the birthday gift and I knew exactly what I wanted to get since my mom collects teapots. I rushed out of work and immediatly drove to this tea parlor that also sells teapots. Run up to the door and nothing. Locked. Ugh. But I see a lady inside. Knock. KNOCK. Finally, she comes to the door and explains that she closed fifteen minutes earlier. Erm. Uh uh. I need to buy a gift and I’m buying it from THAT place and so I managed to talk my way into the place and bought a tiny tea set, complete with a tray and creamer/sugar bowls.

And with my duty done, I head home. By the way, mom loved it.

And so we come to today and the weekend. Not just any weekend, but a three day weekend. One extra day to relax and frolic. Well, relax. I dont frolic much. In fact, I’m not sure I know of anyone who frolics. Do people even use the word frolic anymore? Anyhow, I’ll be building bedroom furniture this weekend. Or at least attempting to. An armoire, two night tables and a headboard. Let’s see how successful I am.

And that’s the week that wasn’t.

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