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Two Shakes and a Meal …
Has anyone ever tried that Slim Fast diet plan? Two shakes and a meal and you’ll lose all kinds of weight. Ugh. Well, currently I’m doing that. See, my doctor said I had to lose about five more pounds by the time I see him next. My next appointment is Jan. 15th and there was no way I could lose anything with Christmas and Thanksgiving in the middle of it, so here I am on the Slim Fast plan.
Morning: A healthy shake for breakfast …
Crack open my can of Vanilla flavored Slim Fast and pour the frothy drink into my thermos cup. Doesn’t look too bad. Kind of looks like a vanilla shake. Even doesn’t taste so bad. I can do this. No problem.
Mid-morning … : Jesus, that can didn’t look that big, but this drink is lasting forever. One more drop and I’ll be done.
Afternoon: A healthy shake for lunch …
Another can pulled out of the fridge. Time to pour that crap back into my thermos cup. I think I’m going to wretch. How do people get two of these fucking things down. Ugh. I can actually feel my stomach lining being eaten away right now. All this for five fucking pounds. I think I’m getting a migraine.
Night: And a sensible meal …
Sensible meal my ass. If someone got between me and my sensible meal right now I’d probably knock their asses out. I don’t know what THEY mean by “sensible”, but I’ll tell you that two pizza stacked on top of each other sounds pretty damned sensible to me right now. Fuck the hell off and get away from my sensible meal. Jesus.
Slim Fast just ain’t FAST enough. I need a pill or something that will do the same thing.
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