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The Resurgence of Reality …

Not like reality TV went away, but about four or five years ago when Survivor came on the air, the networks all scrambled to find a show that would give them a slice of the pie. It was okay in the beginning, but as more and more stupid shows came on the air, the hype sort of died down and all that was left was Survivor and a couple of others.

Lately, however, it seems that reality is back. Like I said, not that it went anywhere, but more and more shows are on the air lately. And the sucky part, is that I’ve been watching them. Ugh. Someone just end it now for the love of God.

My absolute favorite reality show is the Amazing Race. Teams of people traveling the world with clues to win a million dollar prize. Not only do I get to see places that I’d never see in “real” life, but the show allows you to sort of play along at times … or at least scream at your TV when your favorite team is going the wrong way. Ugh.

Another show I’ve watched every week is Survivor. Although the show is starting to show its age, it still keeps me coming back for more. Something about watching people trapped on an island, starving, having no energy and then having to compete in challenges is fun. Mwahahahaha.

And I have to admit that I watched Joe Millionaire. Ugh. There were times I could actually see through that guys head. Durrrrrrrrr. The girls were obviously all out for the money, even though they said it didn’t matter. Some even made it apparent that they could learn to like him because he had the supposed $50 million dollar inheritance. In the end he picked Zora, and because she “loved” him unconditionally, they were both given half a million dollars each. Just like Wifey™ and I thought they’d do. Fox sort of spoiled it by announcing there’d be a “big twist” at the end that would keep everyone on the edge of their seats. It was fairly obvious what they “big twist” would be.

ABC had it’s own match game on called “The Bachelorette”. Trista, the bachelorette, had been dumped on the show “The Bachelor” and had her own chance to choose from a mass of Ken dolls and one fat guy. The fat guy didn’t get chosen, as we never do, and the guy from San Francisco turned out to be a psycho nutcase. I mean, you have only so many chances to impress the girl and you pick a fight with her. Ugh. So, last night was the finale. The beefcake financial guy and the “dreamer/poet/fireman” were the final two. ABC spliced the show together in such a way that they led us to believe she was going to choose the financial guy, and in the end she chose Ryan, the fireman. Pretty much caught everyone by surprise, including Charley, the financial guy, who said he’d felt like he’d just been hit by a bus. The nice thing about the show is that it was relatively short — only on a few weeks before they got to the point.

And who hasn’t seen or heard of American Idol. This is a show that I don’t mind missing a few here or there, once they get passed the point of first rounds where Simon is at his best. The looks on some of their faces are priceless. And how the hell can some of these people not possible know they CAN’T sing. Before I waddled my fat ass onto a television show to sing for Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul, I’d tape and listen to myself and get some input on whether I could actually sing in the first place. Ugh.

Finally, the show that had me rolling was “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here”. Talk about primadonas. Robin Leach could barely drag his fat ass through the woods to their “campground”. Dude practically needed a respirator. So they get to the “campground” and their digs are a thousand times more plush than Survivor ever got. These people have a wooden toilet thing, which doesn’t sound too plush, but it’s better than pooping in a dirt hole and wiping your ass with fig leaves. These people also have cots to sleep on with sleeping bags. Again, compared to Survivors dirt floor and some branches, this is the Ritz Carleton. So, they immediately start whining about their comfort level and the fact that there are bugs out there — imagine, bugs in the Amazon rainforest.

Every week one contestant will be chosen by America to perform some kind of challenge to win food and necessities for survival. This week was Melissa Rivers turn. She was not a happy camper, pun intended. The challenge was for her to wear shorts and a these clown pants and toss bugs and rats and crap down her pants. That’s it. Just toss them all down there and then immediately take the pants off. She didn’t have to eat the bugs, or bite the head off a rat. Merely, stick them down her pants and she’d win some food for her team. She did it too, but not after a weeping session with the producers, telling them that she felt degraded and humiliated. Erm. First off, why would you go on the show if you didn’t want to do some strange things. Even on Survivor they make people eat bugs. Regardless, Melissa Rivers, whose only celebrity link is her mother Joan Rivers, got through it acting like a drama queen the entire time. The funny part is when the food she won was delivered — a basket of raw vegetables. One person exclaimed, “I thought they’d at least deliver us some prepared meals!”. My problem now is that there is no way I’m going to be able to watch the show for the next thirteen consecutive days. Ugh. I hate when shows do that.

I’m a reality show-aholic and my name is Greg.

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