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Faking It …
Some people will do anything to spike their hit counter. A good example is the following fake “about me” list, I grabbed from Uncle Bob’s page …
2) I’ve had sex with my cousin. Before she lost all that weight on the Atkins Diet.
3) I videotaped an orgy with the Hilton Sisters and the Olsen Twins.
4) My semen has been chunky lately. Gallstones, anyone?
5) I have a horny sister. Not that I’ve ever helped her relieve sexual tension. Just thought I’d throw that out there.
6) I wear adult diapers. But not for the reasons you would think.
7) Uncle Bob’s Diary is lame.
8) I enjoy tickling my ass with feathers aimlessly while watching Martha Stewart.
9) Eliza Dushku once gave me a blow job in a Turkish bath while the midgets from “The Wizard of Oz” cheered, and, of course, masturbated.
10) My penis is bigger than Milton Berle’s penis.
Some people will do just about anything to get people to visit their pages. Not me though … no sirree!!
Here’s a question for those of you that might be married. Let’s say that you meet someone and are friends with them for about five years. After five years of being friends, you take it a step further and become an item. You remain a couple for three years before you decide to get married and are then married for three years. So to recap, you were friends for five years, were a couple for three years, but have only been married three years and have known each other for eleven years.
I always find it funny listening to people answer the question of how long they’ve been together or married. Some people will just respond with the number of years they’ve been married, in this example, three years. Others will answer with, eleven, even though they weren’t really “together”, in the couple sense, during five of those years. And still others will go through the whole history saying that they’ve been married three years, but have known each other for eleven.
The thing about it is that no one really cares. Most people just ask to be nice anyway, so why do people feel the need to clarify or explain their relationship. My personal feeling is that when someone asks, you should just answer with the number of years you’ve been married and be done with it. My grandparents, for example, practically grew up together, which would have mean they’d been together for over seventy years. When they were asked that question, though, the answer was always, “we’ve been married fifty years”.
At least for me, when I ask the question of how long, it’s usually preceeded by the fact that I find out two people are married. “Oh your married, how long have you been together.” All I’m looking for is the number of years they’ve been married. That’s it’. Nothing further. I don’t need to know that you dated for three years prior and were friend for ten years prior to that. Too much information that I’m not going to remember in five minutes anyway.
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