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Selling Shit…

When we moved earlier this year, we unearthed a bunch of crap that we needed to just get rid of. The options were to either throw it all in the dumpster or try to sell it at a garage sale. The first option was actually more appealing to me because it’d be gone and out of my sight. Unfortunately we opted for the second option, because my mom was itching to have one anyhow.

Last weekend was the big day. We loaded all of our junk into the car and headed down to mom’s house to set up shop. The hardest part about setting up a garage sale is getting the shit out there before people figure it out. Even though you have a big ass sign that says that it starts at 10AM and you’re setting up at 8AM… people still stop by and try to start rifling through your crap. Meanwhile, we’re looking at them like… hello, we’re trying to set up here.

We had two tables worth of crap and then a bunch of miscellaneous stuff in boxes scattered all over the ground and a rack full of clothes toward the back. But this is the boring stuff. Let’s get to the good part — the idiot people that actually go to garage sales.

One of our more comedic people is this lady that’s come to every garage sale we’ve ever had over the last twenty years. The lady said she’s retired, but dresses like a twenty year old. She talks really fast and a lot and feels very at home grabbing a chair and sitting down for a bit. She also buy a ton of shit every time. The last garage sale she put some dress on — over her clothes — and then asked how it looked on her. We were like, it looks great and she bought it. She doesn’t barter prices, she pays what we want and usually leaves with $20-$40 worth of junk, erm, I mean valuable property.

This other family came by twice and bought nearly $100 worth of stuff — a few lamps, a bike, a bike rack and some knick knacks.

For the most part, quite a few nice people came through, looked around, talked for a bit and some bought, some didn’t. Of course, there’s always the exceptions.

Living in a culturally diverse area like San Francisco, the area also inhabit quite a few asian folks who tend to be on the cheap side. I’m trying to word that as nicely as possible, so I don’t sound like a racist or anything, while also making the truth clear. This one filipino lady came up to the table, grabbed a pile of stuff and then looked at me and said, “I’ll give you a dollar for all of that”. Erm. I basically told her that I might as well give it to her for FREE, because a dollar wasn’t really going to do me any good. That of course was sarcasm… not seriousness. She ended up only taking a couple of the things, which I sold her for a dollar.

Another asian lady walked into the driveway and picks up a few things, asks my mom what the prices were (even though everything was marked) and then proceeds to ask for a discount. My mom immediately says back to her, “This is a garage sale, everything’s already discounted”. Ugh.

And finally, there’s this other asian lady that picks up a coat and again, asks what the price is (even though its already marked). My mom was selling coats for $5, which seemed like a pretty good deal. The lady pulls out $3 and says, “I’ll give you $3″… even though I could clearly see a pile of about $500 in her pocket. Ugh.

Oh, and this other asian lady walks up to my table and starts picking shit up and asking what eveything is and what it’s used for. Ugh. She picked up some toys and asked what they were. I said, “It’s a toy, you play with it”. She picked up a book and asked what it was. I said, “It’s a book, you read it”. She picked up a tablet of blank paper and asked what it was. I said, “It’s a tablet of blank paper, do whatever you want with it”. Ugh. I think she pointed at everything on the table. I was about to tell her it was a table full of shit, to buy it and shove it up her ass.

Garage sales suck. Not only is it boring as hell to sit out here all day waiting for people to stop by and rifle through your shit and then to try and get everythign for a dime, but also there’s this fine line between standing your ground on a price and getting rid of the shit. Afterall, it IS a garage sale and the point is the get rid of the shit. At the same time, there’s this whole psychological thing going on where you don’t want people getting stuff for nothing. I mean, where else can you get a wool coat for $5. So when you’re offered $3 it become more of a principal thing than actually trying to sell the coat. By Day Two, we got to the point where we’d rather give it to charity than to sell anything else for a dime.

Funny how that happens. All together, Wifey™ and I made about $120 and my mom made closer to $200. I never want to have a garage sale again.

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