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The Top Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong…

Through my daily reading I managed to find this little gem:

The Top Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

1. Homosexuality is not natural. Real people always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still aren’t supposed to marry whites.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if homosexual marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Homosexual couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in North America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4 Responses to 'The Top Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong…'

  1. personal avatar
    Haasim Mahanaim | 19 March 2005

    LOL–Fuckin’ brilliant!


  2. personal avatar
    Angela Johnston | 19 March 2005

    This post is great! Thanks for sharing it.
    –Angela


  3. personal avatar
    Katie | 21 March 2005

    That’s funny — I should forward that through e-mail to all my co-workers. It’ll look great in their Inbox next to all the Christian crap they all send each other. 🙂


  4. personal avatar
    Meng | 27 April 2005

    Someone should forward this to Bush… =)


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