Plays Well With Others

Being Bridezilla…

This weekend, I watched a bit of the show “Bridezilla”. For those unfamiliar, it’s a show about women who are engaged to become married, planning their dream weddings and in the process stepping on everyone that gets in their way. Ugh.

These women will basically say and do anything they please, all explaining their actions as “I’m the bride, I can do anything I want”. Most of them act as bitchy as bitchy can get, saying that it’s their way or the highway. They go after the dressmakers, the caterers, the florists and even their own bridal parties… it really doesn’t matter who gets in their way. Their mission is the create their dream wedding. And most of these couples are spending upwards of $40-50k to achieve this.

Here’s the thing‚Äîno one cares about your wedding. The imported butterflies at $200, or the $20k reception, or the horse and buggy or the diamond encrusted tiara. No one cares. Your immediate family and closest friends probably care the most‚Äîlike the one’s IN the wedding. The other 250 guests‚Äîit’s just another wedding to them, whether you spent $5k or $500k.

But these brides don’t care. It’s all about the fairytale, the dream… what they’ve dreamed about their whole lives. Oh yeah… and I guess it’s about their groom too. Sort of. None of them seemed to give a shit what the groom thought and none of them really seemed to give two thoughts to what the day was about. I’ve always said, it’s not about the day, it’s about the meaning of the day that matters the most.

Wifey™ and I had a wedding with all the fixin’s for under $5k. It CAN be done. We had beautiful flowers from a great florist, who happened to be a family friend. We had a great professional DJ, who happened to be a relative. We have amazing photographs, from a professional photographer we found through Craigslist. We were married in a japanese tea garden, where we could also have our photos taken… all for $150. We only invited our immediate family and closest friends (who were in the wedding) to the actual ceremony. They’re the only ones that really cared anyway. The rest of the people‚Äîa total of 50‚Äîwere invited to the reception for the party. In fact, half of our money was spent on food, because we agreed that it was the most important. That’s really all people care about, afterall. It’s nice to be at your wedding and see it all, but at the end of the day, people are going to remember your food. We used the banquet room of a great restaurant that overlooks the Bay. Each guest could choose from three dishes that were made to order. None of that catered hotel food‚Äîboiled, heatlamped chicken or fish with a side of green beans. Ugh.

The point of that is that you can have a GREAT wedding day, on a budget. Our families weren’t willing to refinance their homes or take out loans to finance our wedding and to be honest, we wouldn’t even ask that. A lavish wedding just wouldn’t represent our lifestyle. We’d rather use the money to buy a house. At the end of the day, all you’re going to be left with is photographs. And that’s really all people care about. The food, the day of the wedding, and the photographs, afterwards.

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5 Responses to 'Being Bridezilla…'

  1. personal avatar
    Bill J. | 08 August 2005

    Ditto. Rachel & I had our wedding for less than $2000, and afterwards we received several compliments that it “was the nicest wedding I’ve ever gone to.”

  2. personal avatar
    Greg | 08 August 2005

    You know what… people came up to us also and were complimenting us on how it was the best wedding they’d been to. Just goes to show you, that all the glitz and glamour doesn’t make a great wedding‚Äö?Ñ?Æit’s just the small things. We’re pretty proud of that‚Äö?Ñ?Æas I’m sure you and Rachel also are.

  3. personal avatar
    joe | 08 August 2005

    There’s a lot to be said for simple elegance.

    There’s also the element that I don’t have anybody to really impress. The people that would be invited are people who we don’t need to show off for.

  4. personal avatar
    Nic | 09 August 2005

    Yeesh. One of the many reasons I don’t care if I ever get married. The very thought of planning all that stuff and spending money on it makes me sick.

  5. personal avatar
    Greg | 09 August 2005

    I agree Joe. The whole point of that day isn’t about wedding at all. I think people forget that. Personally, the wedding wouldn’t even go through, if the person I was marrying started acting like a total fruitcake during the planning.

    I think you said it perfectly though… people do it less for themselves and more to impress the people that are going. The problem is that no one cares about your wedding in the first place. They want to be invited, they want the free food, and they want some pictures. That’s it in a nutshell.

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