Plays Well With Others

Phat and Creative…

Now, you’d think that because I’m a creative type, I’d just sit in front of a computer all day and, well, be creative. Well, you’d be right. About a month ago, a few of us decided that we wanted to show the world that just because we’re all brainy creative, doesn’t mean that we can’t, you know, go outside and do something physical like walk… or whatever people do outside. So we started a little fit club. Losing a little weight is part of it, but it’s mostly about building strength. And since most of us have none, it doesn’t take much.

The beginning of May, we began by creating a little physical endurance type of test that we’d take once a month to show improvement. Then we’d create a little chart showing our progress over the next six months and have a winner every month for most improved. Not too bad so far, because all we’d done up to this point is create stuff on the computer.

But then, we had to do our first endurance test routine and all hell broke loose. The first test was to sit flat on the floor, legs stretched out and try to touch your toes—holding the position for 30 seconds and then measuring the distance over the toes or not over the toes. Yeah… I think I pulled my shoulder out on that one.

The second test was to do crunches for one minute. Easier said than done, when you hadn’t done ANY in about twenty years. The third test was push-ups for one minute. If the crunches were bad, the push-ups were worse. That shit just burns your arms. Again, about twenty years since I’ve held up this flabby body with just my arms. My arms pretty much went into shock.

The fourth test is step-ups for one minute. You step up with one leg, then step down, then step up with the other leg and then step down and that’s ONE step-up. Ugh. And these aren’t step-ups on a stair or anything. These are on a three inch diameter pole that’s about a foot and a half off the ground. Yeah, one false step and you’ll be singing soprano.

The fifth test is this leg lift over a pole for one minute. So you have to sit on a bench and lift both legs over a pole as many times as possible. Of course, by this point you’re tired as hell and your legs just feel like lead weights.

And finally, once you’ve done all of this you have to walk to the parking garage and do a timed sprint up one of the carport driveways. Just because all of the other shit didn’t kill us.

So yeah, we did one at the beginning of May and then just did our second one at the beginning of June. Surprisingly we all pretty much did better than the last time. I guess it’s that whole competitive trying to beat yourself type of thing.

Today we all voted for most improved and guess who won. Yeah… me. How the hell that happened I don’t know, but I won “most improved”, which is good because it’s the only time it’s probably going to happen. So next week I get taken out to lunch at the all-you-can-eat buffet. Because that’s what we chunky creative types do. We reward ourselves with FOOD.

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