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FatAssyness…

When I was in high school I was a toothpick. I’ve got the pictures to prove it.

Of course, as the years have passed I’ve gone from a toothpick to an old redwood. I blame it on a series of events that have to do with aging. The first one has to do with the fact that when I was 18, I could eat an entire pizza and then polish it off with an entire cheesecake. Somehow at that miraculous time in my life, my body would absorb the food, digest it and turn it into lean muscle. Now, I can eat a pretzel and have to loosen my belt.

And there’s also that brief period I spent in the hospital. My body has never quite recovered from that. I went from being an average weight to a dehyrated and starved skeleton within a three week period. Whatever was wrong with me kept me from being able to eat or drink much and thus, the rapid weight loss. And anyone that knows anything about rapid weight loss would also know that your body basically tells you to fuck off once you recover by giving you an extra half ton of weight that it won’t let go of.

While in my 20’s, I did a lot of hiking. I’ve never been much of an athlete, but I’d mastered walking at a young age and feel that walking uphill doesn’t require as much strength and endurance as, say, pole vaulting. So, hiking has always been something I could handle. Until a year or so ago when I hiked up one of the local mountains and seriously thought that I’d have to flag down a rescue team to get me the hell off the side of the mountain. Now, we’re not talking Mt. Everest. Not even half of Mt. Everest. It’s a simple climb. Maybe half an hour or an hour, up a hill and then back down. Anyhow, the adventure taught me that climbing up a mountain isn’t a good idea anymore.

Hmm… I need to get back on the treadmill. And maybe start drinking some water. Even though my body is giving me the big middle finger, I’ll just have to show it who’s boss.

Tags: weight, body, fitness

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