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Don’t Let the Bed Bugs Bite…

I’m not sure what’s causing this, but for the past week or so I’ve been waking up with red marks on my arms and back. The only conclusion I can come up with is that something in the bed is eating me alive.

Now, don’t get the wrong idea. We don’t live in filth and squalor. Our bed is clean. We wash and change the sheets regularly and up until a week or so ago, I’ve had nice restful sleeps. At the same time, there’s nothing else it could be. I go to bed fine and eight hours later, I wake up with red splotches on my arms and back. Itchy, red, bite marks.

Desperate times call for desperate measures and so, this weekend, Wifeyâ„¢ and I will take part in an bed intervention. We will strip the bed naked and vacuum the hell out of the mattress—hopefully sucking those nasty bed bugs straight out. We may even borrow my mom’s Dyson which is supposed to have more suction than a drunken college girl.

Obviously treatment needs to be stealth and swift. I’m looking like a bit of a crack addict right now with all of these red scab marks on my arms. And we just can’t have that.

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