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I should start this

I should start this entry out with a hearty “Happy 4th of July” for all my fellow Americans. I know Tim doesn’t like the fact that we BEAT the british, but it’s okay. The truth isn’t always easy to swallow.

Anyhow, back to me. Just a few hours ago, I was discharged from the hospital. I was admitted to the emergency room on Sunday night with severe abdominal pain. They did tests for appendicitis, gall bladder and intestinal problems, and didnt come up with anything. At this point, Im feeling a bit better, so Im finally home with antibiotics in hand.

Rather than bore you with a total recap of the last few days in the hospital, I’ve decided to just point out a few of the highlights:

– I get there and am immediately told to get naked and put the hospital gown on. You know the one with the open back, where your ass sticks out. So basically my whole stay involved me walking around with an IV in one arm and my other arm was holding my gown closed. I think I’m good at it now.

– I’m laying in the ER and the doctor says, “okay, time for a rectal exam”. What!#@! Hold up there, chachi, thats EXIT only. Well, in the end I didnt win. ‘Nuff said.

– The same ER doctor then begin pressing on my stomach. He takes his hand and presses down so hard, I swear he touched the table under me and he’s like “does that hurt?”. I’m like, “if I did that to you, would it hurt?”

– So, by the time I actually got to go to bed it was 3AM. I thought, “finally, I get to go to bed” … an hour later someone comes in and is like “wake up, gotta draw some blood”. I’m like “what the fuck, you just drew three things an hour ago.” How would you like to wake up to that?

– The test performed on me consisted of checking for an appendix problem, so they performed a CAT scan and an ultrasound and found there to be no problems in that area. Then they decided, maybe its a gall bladder problem, so they ran a nuclear test. Basically, they give you a shot of radiation or something and do x-rays to watch the gall bladder. This x-ray consisted of laying flat on a table with a flat machine pressed against you. I had to lay there for one hour without moving. Claustrophobic much?

– They also felt that because I could go into surgery at any moment, feeding me wasn’t in the cards. So, I basically went about 48 hours without a drop of water or a bit of food … and when they finally did feed me it was celery soup and tapioca pudding. Who need slim fast, just come down to the hospitall … we’ll make you thin.

On a more serious note, its nice to hear from people who care about you. All I could think about was trying to get ahold of Wifey™ once I got in the hospital, and left a few messages for my roommate to call her and let her know. Once Wifey™ did reach me she was so sweet and wanted to make sure I was okay and that they were taking care of me. These are the times, the long distance thing becomes a little hard.

I know if it were reversed, I’d be dying. You feel so helpless being so far away. But Wifey™ called me a few times and we talked for a little while each time, and it really helped just to hear her voice and her concern for me.

And when I got home even Katie sent me a message asking me if I was okay. Katie, for once, was nice to me or a few minutes.. we almost bonded or something. Then she got back to being a smartass with me … thanks for the conern Katie. No, really, I mean it. I’m serious. Why do people always think Im not serious?

So, now I’m home and trying to get back in the swing of things … and of course, rest a little. I’m on antibiotics for whatever mystery illness it is I have.. but I’m just happy to be home, and near my wonderful shower. I missed my beautiful shower … and my soap … and my razor.. and my bed … and my … erm, okay, you got the idea.

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